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New Beginnings
Talk about alone! 
13th-Aug-2010 05:41 pm
I explained to Alex that Granny and I had a tiff, and that's ok because it can happen in families. We sometimes hurt each other's feelings. Then we make each other feel better. I also told him that she apologized and that I forgave her and we exchanged hugs. I asked him if he wanted to make her feel better. (I had to explain to Granny that the roaring dinosaur was a representation of such an attempt!)

Despite it all, I had a horrible day. I thought and re-thought our exchange. It is a harbinger of the things to come unless I figure out a good way to get a grip on the situation. I spent most of the day next to tears. I can't wait to see my husband. I miss my mom. I'd like to talk to my dad. I spent the day with my kids who love telling me that I am the sweetest mommy in the world. Finally, Veronika, the nanny, came and it was good to see her and we chatted. I also spent a little time on LJ and got to work building our latest business venture.

And just now it hit me. *I* am complaining about being alone?? She doesn't have a mom & dad (well, her mom is demented and in a nursing home). Her husband has died. Her babies are building their families and it's been a long time since they told her, she is the sweetest mommy in the world. She doesn't have a job, a business, or an online world that she is part of (not in a way we mean it, anyway). What she has is a family that she is not used to, doesn't really understand (least of all, her own child), but her survival depends on making piece with this strange girl (me).

That said, she has a funny way of going about it! But still... I guess I can understand a certain amount of spazzing.... I'll go make her feel better!
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